Chapter XIV - TexasT’s and the Queen Get Evicted or Whattayamean I Gotta Go Back

Went down to the grill for coffee and said good-bye to the queen of security, “Bye, mon. See you next time.” She’s got a pretty good job, I reckon. Pretty hard for a guest to give her a hard time and be taken seriously when they are naked.

Met a nice couple from San Antonio while we were sunning and swimming that morning before breakfast. Spent some time talking to them about what was wrong with the world, and what a better place it would be if everybody was naked. Again it’s pretty hard to give someone a hard time and be taken seriously when you are naked.

That BARES repeating: It’s pretty hard to give someone a hard time and be taken seriously when you are naked.

We went up to breakfast kind of sad cause it was our last day in Jamaica. We were taking the bus back to Montego Bay and had to be ready at lunch time. Think our flight was at three or three thirty. Superclubs has got a pretty cool deal going with Air Jamaica though. You can do a pre check in at the resort. But not until precisely 1000 AM. (yeah, right. Soon come, mon). Try ten thirty…Okay by me. I’m still on vacation.

So the Queen and I went back down to the room to get packed. CHECKED baggage must be outside your door by nine thirty. All this stuff is on your checkout ticket that’s put under your door the night before – The dreaded EVICTION notice!

So I trek back up the hill (no sense in both of us going up if we don't have to) to the Air Jamaica table with ID and tickets and such. Waited around for another half hour. Took care of all the Bullshit paperwork. And went down to the beach to meet the Queen for one last dip in the sea…

“Dammit! It’s been a week already?” was all I kept thinking.

Lunchtime soon come. Too damn soon if you ask me.

So we throw on street clothes and head up to find the bus back to Montego Bay.

“I don’t wanna go!”

“Get on the bus, T’s!”

It was everything the bus ride from Hell is reputed to be. About the time we got out of town, and it doesn’t take that long, as Negril is a small town, the skies opened up and it POURED all the way back to the Montego Bay! Now I’ve been told that this is kind of a hairy ride in good weather.

Road conditions were terrible. Pot holes and washouts galore.

Did I say the road conditions were TERRIBLE? It’s pretty much a white knuckled ride in the driving rain if you are uninitiated. But we had been on a couple of car/bus/taxi rides in the Caribbean so it wasn’t too bad for us. And I did get a free spinal alignment on that ride!

People drive flat out, pedal to the metal all over the Caribbean. What’s the rush, Man?

Stopped raining about the time we pulled into the city.

In retrospect: We would fly back to Montego Bay next time. More play time if you do that.

Not to mention the Queen has said, “Never again!!”

We get to the airport with fifteen minutes to spare before our flight was supposed to board. Forty five minutes later, we start to board and we get the Gestapo ticket agent at our gate, “PEOPLE! Form a Single file line against the WALL!! Against the WALL!!” It was pretty funny.

About then we notice the guys in front of us have on HEDOHOUSTON.COM t-shirts. (We didn’t find out until later but they have a big group that goes to H3 every year). We boarded and it was pretty much up, up and away!!!

A few Red Stripes later we were landing in Houston...