Chapter II - More Airport Adventures or "Everyting negotiable"

As we walked out of Baggage claim, the fact that we were once again in the Caribbean became quickly apparent as the crush at the airport was full of folks trying to give ALL of the arriving passengers rides. The Queen got a little ahead of me as I was dragging the big bag along behind me. It had a strange feeling to it. The handle was v-vib-b-rating (!) How the hell did THAT get through customs without being tagged for search and seizure! I was going to stop and check that out, but about the time I stop another crush of Jamaica bound passengers came from baggage claim. So I headed around the corner to the left towards the Superclubs desk and just about ran over the Queen and this Jamaican guy in heated negotiation.

"Wassup?" I ask.

"Guy says he can fly us to Negril for 60US each," says the Queen.

"Ya Mon, 15 minute flight or 2-1/2 hour bus ride, fi true!" replies the guy whom in a few minutes I find out his name is Tim.

Tim is wearing a shirt that indicates he works for an oufit named BurlAir.

I can see the Queen is wavering and not looking forward to the bus ride from Hell. We had heard about that on the Negril message board as well. So I prop my vibrating bag against one of my legs and decide to try my negotiating skills (I was a Buyer for a multinational corporation, in a former life, before I fell into my current assignment in the Information Technology organization) as I had been told by seasoned boardies to "Higgle". Higgling is the native form of haggling.

"Is the plane full?" I ask.

"Will be 'fore dey take off," says Tim.

"Tim, 60US for a full plane is too much. 40US each!" I reply.

"It's a small plane, mon!" Tim counters with, "55 each!"

"45US, man" says I.

"Can't do dis for under 55, Mon"

"You seem like a nice guy, Tim. But you know we can ride the bus for free...C'mon my Queen, our carriage awaits over yonder!" I start to pull my bag over to the Superclubs desk. The Queen is looking pretty dismayed, but starts to come along. A guy from a competing airline, Timair, tries to stop us. I look over my shoulder at Tim and raise an eye brow.

"Okay mon, you can ride for 50US each," Tim calls after us.

"SOLD!!" I proclaim.


Tim comes over and grabs the bag, he gets a (momentarily) funny look on his face when he grabs the handle and leads us out of the terminal to a car that's waiting. We throw the luggage in the back.

Tim asks me, "what in de bag mon?"

I momentarily stop trying to think of what the hell he's talking about (did I tell you we were exhausted?). "Shit! I forgot the bag is vibrating." So I go around to the back of the car, feel the bag so I can figure out where it's coming from. I open the bag...root around for a minute...and find...my cordless...ELECTRIC SHAVER, which had some how gotten turned on and was threatening to chew a hole in the ditty bag. I turn the thing off, and hold it up for Tim to see, put it back in the bag and close it, and jump in the car.

Tim leans in and asks, "You need anyting, mon? Anyting you want I can get!" with just the right inflexion that lets us know he means some extralegal substances.

I'm thinking, 'Jeez we ain't even left the airport yet' "No man, we’re good. But thanks for the offer," I reply.

"Dis guy take good care of you guys. He take you over to da terminal to catch the plane," Tim says with a smile. And we're off! The driver pulls away from the curb with a toot toot of his horn and a screech of rubber. And that's the last we see of Tim.

The driver turns and asks us, "You sure you don't need anyting, Mon?"

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